Updates: NEW

forgive me for the lack of updates, this past winter was hell for me and i hadn't thought about anything in a long time..

in the past couple of months, i have been reading some books and articles on cutting.. why people do it, what can help them stop.. first i will share a short story about myself and then i will explain it in psychological terms..

i grew up listening to my parents fighting, hurting each other, calling the cops on each other.. my mother started drinking when i was 13 and went from a caring, selfless individual to a monster who only cared for herself.. i started having to fend for myself, take care of my emotions at a very awkward age without my mother.. my father had told me from the time i was in 2nd grade that i was fat.. the two people that were supposed to be my foundation, who were supposed to keep me grounded, were the ones that i wanted to run away from the most.. this was around the time that i started cutting..

the first time i cut, it didn't mean anything.. i guess in a way, it did, because it started a pattern in my life that's been so hard to fix..

when i was 14, i met my first love.. in the beginning of the relationship, it was like any normal teenage romance.. he was immature, tried to keep me on a short leash.. eventually, he started physically abusing me.. but i still loved him.. and i wasn't cutting..

now, for the diagnosis on the cutter:

the people in my life had shown me that love consisted of pain.. the constant in my childhood life was that i had nowhere to turn to.. normal people who grow up with loving families know that there can be only happiness, and nothing else.. that is where optimism comes from.. people from broken homes or fucked up parents recognise that home isn't always where love presides.. home is pain.. therefore, pain is home.. people who lived with a broken family sometimes feel like they have to have pain to feel some sort of comfort..

if there needs to be more clarity in this subject, you may email me at stlkr0at0ur0wndo@aol.com or message me, via AIM on that name.. or, you can leave a message on here and i will do my best to try and help you..

My Intentions:

one of the sole reasons i created this, as i have already mentioned, is for people to feel like they have a place to be open, a place where they won't be judged and where their information will be anonymous..

Famous People Who Cut:

Johnny Depp, once quoted saying:

"I don't trust anybody who hasn't been self-destructive in some way, who hasn't gone through some sort of bout of self-loathing."

Angelina Jolie once quoted saying:

"You're young, you're crazy, you're in bed and you've got knives. So shit happens."

 "I was..trying to feel something....I was looking at different things..thinking romantically about...about blood. I really hurt myself." 

"I was just....a kid. I was like 13, And, I was saying that it is not something that is cool. Its not cool. And I understand that it is a cry for help..."

Princess Diana quoted saying in her book, "Diana: Her True Story":

"You have so much pain inside yourself that you try and hurt yourself on the outside because you want help.."

for more information about famous self-injurers, go here: http://www.self-injury.net/doyousi/famous/ ..

And A Final Note:

we are all here to support each other, and to help ourselves..

<3

Hey I found your site I think that what you're doing is a really good idea. To have a site where people can go where someone can let you talk. Instead of talking to a shrink. I used to cut myself, but I no longer do. Everything in my life was so messed up & it seemed like I couldn't deal with anything anymore. At first it started out as something I did when my stress level was high, but then it got worse. I couldn't take it anymore. I cut deep a few times, too deep. And I was in the hospital two times before my parents finally got a clue that they didn't want their daughter to die at 15. So since I've stopped cutting I discourage other girls from doing it, but I don't judge them if they do. So I think your site is a good idea. Keep it up =]

<333 ----

Name: --------------

Age: 17

Email: -----------@yahoo.com

Why I cut: its funny im doing this, i seriously cannot believe im actually gonna type why i do this stuff...... I dont remember how i started but i know why i cut or at least i think i do.....Mostly its for attention that i want from ONE person i dont know why tho.... but usually i cut cause i want to stop crying ( I HATE CRYING) its a limit i set for myself i cant cry if i do then im a bitch. So in order for me to stop is to cut, or sometimes i cut cause im just bored and dont wanna think about the past..... To me its confusing why i cut. but i dont see think of myself as a cutter I see myself as an artist who paints with blood.